Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience and Finding Joy《人生备案：面对逆境，打造复原力，找到喜乐》

最近啃书啃得发狂，尤其在这段没工作没收入的日子，钱流出去，换来的是书香，智慧与希望。阅读真的是让我如痴如醉，有时看书会有种境界，很想看完，可又舍不得看完。

很喜欢这本书《人生备案：面对逆境，打造复原力，找到喜乐》

《Option B》的作者是《Lean In》的Sheryl Sandberg和《Originals 》的Adam Grant。我还没阅读过《Lean In》但略读过Adam Grant 的《Originals 》。相对的，这本书易懂，英文也不会太难明白 （华文版还未问世），重点是可以感觉到Sheryl 很靠近的和你诉说心事。

我喜欢这本书的铺尘，不是作者主观的看法，它还汇集了很多研究试验的结果，以有力的考究手法编织着Sheryl的亲生经历，仿佛是件套在你身上暖暖的衣裳，抚慰我心里的创伤，让你了解学校不曾学过的--复原力。

以下是我的小抄，让我记载重点，方便日后再参考。

Life is never perfect; we all live some form of Option B.

A: Breathing Again

学会复原力，我需要掌握三件关于培养复原力至关重要的事！(by Marin Seligman)

1：不把‘自己’卷入其中

Personalization – The belief that we are at fault

2：不把‘永远’卷入其中

Pervasiveness – The belief that the event will affect all areas of our life

3：不让事情无止境的扩大

Permanence – The belief that the aftershock of the event will last forever.

*It is my fault this is awful. My whole life is awful. It is always going to be awful. (Typical example)

最近的我过着有点度日如年的感觉，对一个时时刻刻都要求自己要活得充实的我，的确是。。.The fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. When I feel down, I also feel down that I am down.

Leaning to the suck meant admitting that I could not control when the sadness would come over me.

Cry breaks might be your need. I remember my earlier practice in Vipassana Meditation, where you sense your sensations in all parts of your body. The key is not to stay at a spot / a sensation for too long. Don’t react but acknowledge it and move on. When you stop fighting those moments / sensations, they pass more quickly.

What I always did when I am flooded in anxiety was, I will just let it flow into my body and wait for it to go. Now, I want to learn how to deal with them without overreacting with them. To Sheryl, dealing with grief is like building your physical stamina, the more you exercise, the faster your heart rate recovers after it is elevated and sometimes during the especially vigorous activity, you discover strength that you dint know you had.

I want myself to remember the paragraph below,

We all deal with loss: job lost, love lost, live lost. (God, I am going through these 3 in 1). The question is not whether these things will happen. They will, and we will have to face them.

Resilience comes from deep within us and from support outside us. It comes from the gratitude of what is good in our lives and from leaning in to the suck. It comes from how we process grief and from simply accepting the grief. Sometimes we have less control that we think.

When life pulls you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface and breath again.